Seven years ago i stood in Sheffield Cathedral and made some promises; I did the same in Manchester Cathedral a few months later...I'd made promises to the Church, promises to obey the Bishop and committed myself for the foreseeable future to the good old C of E. Seven years on and I'm feeling rather itchy.
There are a few things that i think that are causing that, and i think that quite interesting they reflect the life of Fresh Expressions over the last 5 year. I think that part of my vocation is to walk on the edge and therefore as Fresh Expressions has got closer to the centre I question if that is where my vocation is... When Sanctus1 was first started 6 years ago there was no Mission Shaped Church Report and no mixed economy. A few months later, with a new arch-bishop there was a mixed economy and Mission Shaped Church was published. Sanctus1 was mentioned in MSC, we were moving towards the centre.
This week the Bishops Mission Order (BMO)has been finally approved (see here) what this means is that we can legally belong, we can legally be part of the C of E. This is fantastic news for Fresh Expressions all over the country including Sanctus1, it is a seismic shift in the C of E and is great, great news for the church. But personally, there is the slight feeling that i will miss the edge. I miss the excitement of not belonging, the excitement of pioneering, the excitement of new things...
I was at a FE conference a few weeks ago and there was talk of crossing the river Jordan, as Joshua did with the Israelites, and moving to the promised land...but everything within me was saying 'maybe I'm not called to settle, maybe I'm called to be a wanderer'. The exilic community of Moses is for me an attractive place to be,a place of pioneering, of survival, of establishing the ground rules...
So I'm itchy, dearly dearly love the C of E, but thinking that i need to move closer to the edge. I'll never leave it, well i don't think that i will, but know that as Fresh Expressions becomes closer to the centre there will be a loss of the exciting pioneering spirit. I've had a cursory glance at other churches, which whilst they may appear attractive on the surface, I know that I'm where I'm called to be. Sometimes, however where you called to be isn't always the easiest of places...
Technorati Tags: Ben Edson, Fresh Expressions, Bishops Mission Order
