ABC's and The Laundrette

On Friday last week I had two experiences that caused me to reflect on welcome and how alienated you can be when out of your natural comfort zone.

I took Jude and Lily to ABC's (Adults, Babies and Children) at our local church, I wandered in and noticed that it shouldn't be called ABC's but WBC's (Women rather than Adults). I was rather intimidated, I sat in the corner played with Jude, moved over to the craft table before story-time and song-time started...Okay, i sing with Jude, I know all the songs but that's usually in the privacy of my own home, not with 35 other women who are used to doing it every week. I felt out of my comfort zone as I was struck by the lack of men and how their are certain practices that exclude people not intentionally just institutionally...sound's familiar?

Secondly, our washing machine broke so i had to go to the laundrette to wash the nappies. So i went to the local laundrette and just about managed to work out what to do with a bit of help from the assistants. I sat down to read a book when two students walked in, they went up the machines, couldn't work out what to do and the two assistants just watched. The students then walked out of the laundrette, the two women laughed and that was that...

On both times i was totally out of my comfort zone, had to work hard to be welcomed and felt culturally excluded. Need i say more?

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Comments

[Tom Allen]

Ben
Offered a post relating to the first part of your post - linked into Nigel Wright's blog and his experience of a new group for men and their children

Tom

[Mark Hewerdine]

re: part one. I know just how you feel as a "main carer". I used to see a couple of dads at a group I took Isaac to, but now seem to be pretty much the only male, bar one grandad, at any of the 3 "Parent and Toddler" groups I attend. But gives a great insight into exclusion, the unwritten social rules of groups, power dynamics etc. Thanks for sharing your experience, helps to know I'm not the only one!