Seven years ago i stood in Sheffield Cathedral and made some promises; I did the same in Manchester Cathedral a few months later...I'd made promises to the Church, promises to obey the Bishop and committed myself for the foreseeable future to the good old C of E. Seven years on and I'm feeling rather itchy.
There are a few things that i think that are causing that, and i think that quite interesting they reflect the life of Fresh Expressions over the last 5 year. I think that part of my vocation is to walk on the edge and therefore as Fresh Expressions has got closer to the centre I question if that is where my vocation is... When Sanctus1 was first started 6 years ago there was no Mission Shaped Church Report and no mixed economy. A few months later, with a new arch-bishop there was a mixed economy and Mission Shaped Church was published. Sanctus1 was mentioned in MSC, we were moving towards the centre.
This week the Bishops Mission Order (BMO)has been finally approved (see here) what this means is that we can legally belong, we can legally be part of the C of E. This is fantastic news for Fresh Expressions all over the country including Sanctus1, it is a seismic shift in the C of E and is great, great news for the church. But personally, there is the slight feeling that i will miss the edge. I miss the excitement of not belonging, the excitement of pioneering, the excitement of new things...
I was at a FE conference a few weeks ago and there was talk of crossing the river Jordan, as Joshua did with the Israelites, and moving to the promised land...but everything within me was saying 'maybe I'm not called to settle, maybe I'm called to be a wanderer'. The exilic community of Moses is for me an attractive place to be,a place of pioneering, of survival, of establishing the ground rules...
So I'm itchy, dearly dearly love the C of E, but thinking that i need to move closer to the edge. I'll never leave it, well i don't think that i will, but know that as Fresh Expressions becomes closer to the centre there will be a loss of the exciting pioneering spirit. I've had a cursory glance at other churches, which whilst they may appear attractive on the surface, I know that I'm where I'm called to be. Sometimes, however where you called to be isn't always the easiest of places...
Technorati Tags: Ben Edson, Fresh Expressions, Bishops Mission Order
Ben
I don't think that the new so-called "missional order" really touches where edgy people like you and me live in our relationship with the Church. BMO is still essentially about churchy things and making people feel safe with new forms - it will be soon domesticated within a prevailing retro-Christendom model of Church which Sentamu and Nazir-Ali among others believe in. hopefully there will still be Bishops and others who value people who are genuinely working in a missional way - seeking out where God is in within society.And the great thing is that there is that the Anglican Church has always valued such people and movements.
Posted by: Tom Allen | April 02, 2008 at 10:23 AM
I have never been particularly comfortable with my calling to be part of the C of E, but God never promises any calling to be comfortable. I guess my reason for this sense of calling (to the C of E)is very different to yours. In terms of some of the C of E's history, though, I too have a love for her.
As a matter of interest Ben, what churches have you had a 'cursory glance' at and what do you consider their strengths and weaknesses in terms of providing access to mission on 'the edge'?
Posted by: Question of Identity | April 02, 2008 at 11:07 AM
I share your struggles Ben, as you know... I think/hope the BMO may be a place of connection for the communities on the edge... in some ways it seems, at last, to be a recognition that some communities will not/can not gradually become institutionalized, cannot operate within the "normal" structures... it may be a way for the CofE to hang on to those communities that feel FE has not really addressed the bigger questions... personally while I respect many of the FE bigwigs (e.g. Andrew Roberts) and want to support what they are trying to do, I have never truly felt part of "it", never felt like we really share language etc. I hope that BMOs don't become too linked with FE rather that they become a way for communities that feel FE is way to tied to the centre to relate to the CofE. But, TBH it could go either way... and institutions do have a very strong gravitational pull!
Posted by: Mark | April 02, 2008 at 11:52 PM
i have friends who are part of the methodist church and its easier to get things done within methodism...but that is prob. a view from an outsider looking in rather than the reality of the situation.
Posted by: Ben Edson | April 03, 2008 at 11:45 AM