benedson

The Fantasy Cyle and Fresh Expressions: Nightmare

As we move towards the end of the cycle the nightmare kicks in.  However, I want  to say right at the start that the nightmare doesn't necessarily lead to death wish.  The cycle is still breakable and death is not predestined.  Nightmare comes on the back of frustration and I think that it is a stage that we need to go through - everything will not always be rosy...

It's hard to qualify what exactly a nightmare is, it could be caused by a variety of different things but my experience was that is was not one thing but a building of a variety of different factors, until the realisation hit that things were tough.  You'd been suspecting it for a while but all of a sudden you're fire-fighting and those hopeful dreams seem so far away.  I think that the nightmare is the hardest stage to break, because usually there will be pastoral crisis' that need dealing with as well. 

It's not simply a case of re-ordering, as that just papers over the cracks, it's doing the hard work with your community that exposes you to the brokenness of the cross. It's the time that you cry with people in their brokenness and your brokenness, it's the time that you realise that it's not all easy, it's when you encounter the cross. Yet, perhaps the hardest thing about this stage is that you still get the 'tourists', still get the people looking to see the dream and they don't find it.  They find a community working out it's identity in their brokenness...

I think that we hit the night-mare stage once in Sanctus and managed to move away from it into a new phase of life.  Yet, it was a tough, tough time but I learnt so much through it.  I discovered the church for the odd-balls, the excluded, the marginalized and the most broken.  In this brokeness the brand, the image, the gloss was just that, gloss.  I also discovered the loneliness of leadership and the cost of making hard decisions.

The night-mare is a real stage, we often move over it to quickly into death and don't really process the pains of it.  We want to die in a blaze of glory, rather than writhing in pain and struggling for breath on the cross. 

50K = Happiness

It seems that Happiness is found when you earn 50k per annum.  Once you get to this level then the odd 10k here or there isn't going to make much difference to you overall levels of happiness.  So, for example, the increase in my levels of happiness with a car that costs £5k or £150k is minimal, as any happiness attained comes from having a car in the first place.

I caught a discussion with a chap called Nic Marks from the New Economic Foundation about this on the radio where he identified five factors that keep us happy.  Here they are:

Connect - Have good social relations
Be Active - Physical Well being
Take Notice - Engage with the World, be mindful of yourself and your own needs
Keep learning - not necessarily academically, but be curious...learn an instrument or learn how to cook a new dish
Give - Give away that which you have.

I'd just had a conversation with a person about life balance when I was listening to this and it struck me how close to this is to some of the ancient monastic rhythms.

The Silent Pilgrimage: Greenbelt 2010

The Silent Pilgrimage: A meditative journey through the physical space of the festival.

The temporary architecture of the Greenbelt site shapes our festival. Do we view the site merely functionally or through it can we encounter the Divine? The Silent Pilgrimage is a site-specific sound installation that takes the participant on a reflective journey around the festival site. Moments of reflection, celebration and blessing held within the common framework of the site around us all.

Away from the festival the physical environment that we inhabit shapes our being.  Whether the city or hamlet, the countryside or the town the presence of God is within them all.  The spiritual is physical; the physical is spiritual.  Do we view the environment that we inhabit functionally or is it an icon into the Divine.  The Silent Pilgrimage opens these questions exploring sideways encounters through the physical.

We have commissioned five groups to write the meditations: Frunt, Molten Meditation, Beyond, Spirit Walk and Gloppy Music. The meditations, of both words and music, will provide a unique soundscape for the site this year, reflecting on both the site location and also on a particular stage of the silent journey. 

Don't forget to book your tickets for Greenbelt

40x40x40: Day 32

today i have needed to breathe

just a moment to stop
to be

too much juggling
too many plates being spun

yet in the midst of that
40 words to focus my spirit
40 words to remember
my innermost meaning

40x40x40: Day 22

i look ahead
all i see is darkness
shadows of humanity
flicker around me
with no form
and no definition

i look behind me
light cascades into the space
the shadows gain definition
i see humanity
illuminated by the light

40x40x40: Day 21

21 dawns
and with it adulthood
i mourn the freedon of the child
and fear the responsibilities of the adult

is this a time to say goodbye to the wilds of youth
a time to become respectable


I think not...

40x40x40: Day 20

the first half way always going to be hard
more in front than behind
but now i'm half way there

lent seems so short
i can see the light at the end
i'm going to make it
i sigh,
relieved

40x40x40: Day 19

the 12 minute commute provides the backdrop
a journey through the urban sprawl of south manchester

diverse communities
diverse people
side by side
deprivation next to wealth

we slice through the city
untouched by its fragility
a window into our home

40x40x40: Day 18

visible seams
once divided my days
not those seams have disappeared
into a chasm of banality

the days roll into one
as the once visible seams
fade into the monotony of the ongoing experience

the boredom of the lenten journey

40x40x40: Day 16

sweet sixteen
50 cc
marriage
cigarettes
sex
a marking post on the journey into adulthood


a liminal time
a time of transition
and of transformation
where occasional glimpses of the past child
illuminate the potential adult
a metamorphosis into adulthood